On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
From the combination of expertise as well as actions, somebody could improve their ability and also capacity. It will lead them to live and work better. This is why, the students, employees, or even employers ought to have reading habit for books. Any sort of publication On Marriage And Family Life, By Saint John Chrysostom will offer certain expertise to take all advantages. This is just what this On Marriage And Family Life, By Saint John Chrysostom tells you. It will certainly include more understanding of you to life and also function better. On Marriage And Family Life, By Saint John Chrysostom, Try it and verify it.
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
Best Ebook Online On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
This classic includes the following homilies: Homily XIX. 1 Cor. 7:1, 2 Homily XX. Ephesians 5:22–24 Homily XXI. Ephesians 6:1–3 Homily XII. Colossians 4:18
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom - Amazon Sales Rank: #124981 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-03-29
- Released on: 2015-03-29
- Format: Kindle eBook
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom Language Notes Text: English, Greek
Where to Download On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
Most helpful customer reviews
25 of 26 people found the following review helpful. How to be a good husband By Edward W. Cole St. John Chrysostom's homilies on marriage and family life are refreshingly free of political correctness. He teaches that women have the duty to obey their husbands, and that both men and women should be chaste before and after marriage. And yet, this book seems to be aimed more at men then at women; they are taught to love their wives as Christ loved His bride, the Church, which was not obedient or beautiful or good until He offered His life to make it clean.The teaching in the book is timeless, but sometimes seems particularly relevant to our age. For instance, "Let them shun the immodest music and dancing that are currently so fashionable....Remove from your lives shameful, immodest, and Satanic music, and don't associate with people who enjoy such profligate entertainment.... Will this sort of life be distasteful for a young bride? Only perhaps for the shortest time, and soon she will discover how delightful it is to live this way. She will retain her modesty if you retain yours." (page 60) This seems more relevant to our day than to his until you remember that he was murdered for denouncing the empress for promoting these entertainments.If you want to be a good, Christian husband, this book will speed you on your way. I would especially recommend it to men who are engaged, so that they can enter into the married state with the right intentions.
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful. A Gem of Christian Wisdom By John M. Balouziyeh A. OverviewThis treasure of wisdom brings together the homilies of John Chrysostom, a great apologist for Christian marriage. As explained in the book's introduction, the teaching of the Orthodox Church, which in the First Council of Nicaea (325) upheld the ordination of married men, is that "the marriage bed is undefiled" (p. 8). Chrysostom's defends this view while presenting marriage as "both a great mystery in itself" as well as the representation of "a greater mystery, the unity of redeemed mankind in Christ" (p. 10). The homilies published in this volume deal above all with love, that "force that welds society together" (Homily 20, p. 44). Chrysostom counsels couples on the need to live simply rather than in excess and luxury; to hold a wedding celebration that before all things invites Christ to be present; to raise children around the Scriptures and daily readings of the Bible; and for single men and women to seek first virtuous character and the love of Christ rather than wealth or status when choosing a partner for life.1. On Choosing a WifeChrysostom, in his sermon "How to Choose a Wife," writes that we should "seek just one thing in a wife, virtue of soul and nobility of character, so that we may enjoy tranquility, so that we may luxuriate in harmony and lasting love" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 97-8). Based on this, we should not "investigate our bride's money, but the gentleness of her character and her piety and chastity. A wife who is chaste, gentle, and moderate, even if she is poor, can make poverty better than wealth. Likewise a wife who is corrupt, undisciplined, and contentious, even if she has immeasurable treasure stored away, blows it away more quickly than any wind and surrounds her husband with innumerable misfortunes along with poverty" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 99).He calls the listener to pay heed to Paul's counsel: "`Because of the temptation to immorality let each man have his own wife.' [1 Cor 7:2] [Paul] does not say, `Because of the relief from poverty,' or `Because of the acquisition of wealth,' but what? In order that we may avoid fornication, restrain our desire, practice chastity, and be well pleasing to God by being satisfied with our own wife: this is the gift of marriage, this is its fruit, this is its profit" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 99)."When you are looking for a bridegroom or a bride, ask this first of all, whether your intended is loved by God and enjoys good will from above. If these blessings are present, everything else follows. If they are absent, even if the goods of this life are present in great abundance, they are of no benefit" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 110-11).2. On Rebecca, the Exemplar of ChastityVirginity on its own does not equate chastity, for "Many virgins keep their bodies uncorrupted, but fill their souls with all kinds of licentiousness. They adorn themselves, attract innumerable admirers, and excite the eyes of the young men, setting ambushes and traps for them. Moses shows that Rebecca was not that kid of girl, but was a virgin in both body and soul: `She was a virgin, whom no man had known'" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 105).Chrysostom describes Rebecca as a woman of both virtue and chastity. "[A]s Rebecca arrived in Abraham's country sitting on the camel, before she came near, she looked up and saw Isaac, and jumped down from her camel. Do you see her strength? Do you see her vigor? ... `She said to the servant, "Who is that man walking in the field?" The servant said, "It is my master." So she took her veil and covered herself.' [Gen 24:65] See how her chastity is shown by everything she did, how modest and worthy of respect she was. `So Isaac took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after the death of Sarah his mother.' [Gen 24:67] The story is told to teach you the reasons for this attraction and love, the good qualities which his wife brought with her from her home. Who would not have loved such a woman, so virtuous, so beautiful, so hospitable, generous, and kind, so brave in her soul and vigorous in her body?" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 113).Chrysostom concludes by urging mothers to "bring up your daughters as Rebecca was brought up. You bridegrooms who are about the marry girls like Rebecca, celebrate your weddings with as much decorum as Isaac did" ("How to Choose a Wife, p. 113-14).3. UnityUnity is the key to the strength of the household. "As with a general whose troops are so well organized on the front that the enemy cannot find a place to penetrate for an attack, so it is with husband and wife: when the concerns of everyone in the house are the same, harmony reigns in the family, but if not, the entire household is easily broken up and destroyed" (Homily 20, p. 57-8). This unity is based on the oneness in body of the bride and groom. "See the mystery of love! If the two do not become one, they cannot increase; they can increase only be decreasing! How great is the strength of unity! God's ingenuity in the beginning divided one flesh into two; but He wanted to show that it remained one even after its division, so He made it impossible for either half to procreate without the other. Now do you see how great a mystery marriage is?" (Homily 12, p. 75).4. The Love Relationship between Man and WifeThe love relationship between spouses grow when they grow in obedience to the Gospel. "Paul has precisely described for husband and wife what is fitting behavior for each: she should reverence him as the head and he should love her as his body. But how is this behavior achieved? That it must be is clear; now I will tell you how. It will be achieved if we are detached from money, if we strive above everything for virtue, if we keep the fear of God before our eyes. What Paul says to servants in the next chapter applies to us as well, `... knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same again from the Lord.' [Eph 6:8] Love her not so much for her own sake, but for Christ's sake" (Homily 20, p. 58).The man should tell his wife "that you love her more than your own life, because this present life is nothing, and that your only hope is that the two of you pass through this life in such a way that in the world to come you will be united in perfect love. Say to her, `Our time here is brief and fleeting, but if we are pleasing to God, we can exchange this life for the Kingdom to come. Then we will be perfectly one both with Christ and each other, and our pleasure will know no bounds. I value your love above all things, and nothing would be so bitter or painful to me as our being at odds with each other. Even if I lose everything, any affliction is tolerable if you will be true to me.' Show her that you value her company, and prefer being at home to being out. Esteem her in the presence of your friends and children. Praise and show admiration for her good acts" (Homily 20, p. 61)."If you honor her, she won't need honor from others; she won't desire praise from others if she enjoys the praise that comes from you. Prefer her before all others, both for her beauty and her discernment, and praise her. She will in this way be persuaded to listen to none that are outside, but to disregard all the world except for you. Teach her to fear God, and all other good things will flow from this one lesson as from a fountain and your house will be filled with ten thousand blessings. If we seek the things that are perfect, the secondary things will follow. The Lord says, `Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you' [Mt 6:33]" (Homily 20, p. 63)."We must love our wife not only because she is a part of ourselves and had the beginning of her creation from us, but also because God made a law about this when He said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' [Gen 2:24, Eph 5:31] Paul reads us this law in order to surround us and drive us toward this love. See the wisdom of the apostle. He does not lead us to the love of our wives by divine laws only, or by human reasoning only, but by interchanging them he makes a combination of both. In this way the wiser and higher-minded may be led by the heavenly arguments, while the weaker may be led to love by the natural and earthly arguments. This is why he begins with Christ's righteous acts, and introduces his exhortation by saying, `Love your wives as Christ loved the Church.' Then again from human experience: `Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.' Then again from Christ: `Because we are members of His body, made from His flesh and His bones.' Then again from humanity: `For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife'" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 94)."Just as in the case of children, the baby which is born immediately from the first sight recognizes its parents without being able to speak, so also the hearts of the bride and bridegroom are entwined together at the first sight without anyone to introduce them, to advise them, or to counsel them. Then, seeing that this happened also above all with Christ and the Church, Paul was astonished and amazed. How did this happen with Christ and the Church? As the bridegroom leaves his father and comes to the bride, so Christ left His Father's throne and came to His bride. He did not summon us on high, but Himself came to us ... For this reason when Paul said, `This is a great mystery,' he added, `I understand it in relation to Christ and the Church' [Eph 5:32]" (p. 95-6).5. Eschewing Wealth and StatusChrysostom warns those who are attracted to wealth and power. He writes, "Let us not seek wealth, nor high social position (these are external things), but true nobility of soul" (Homily 20, p. 49), and elsewhere, "If the bridegroom shows his wife that he takes no pleasure in worldly excess, and will not stand for it, their marriage will remain free from the evil influences that are so popular these days" (Homily 20, p. 60). "He is truly rich who does not desire great possessions, or surround himself with wealth, but who requires nothing" (Homily 21, p. 69).6. The Wedding CelebrationIn some of his sermons, Chrysostom adopts a view that is similar to that of the Holiness Movement of the early twentieth century, which eschewed dancing and anything else that could be taken as contrary to a modest form of sober living devoted to God: "Let them shun the immodest music and dancing that are currently so fashionable" (Homily 20, p. 60-1). "Banish dancing, laughter, shameful speeches, the music of pipes and flutes, and all the devil's show. Instead you must beseech God to preside over all that is done. If we manage our families in this way, there will never be divorce, suspicion of adultery, occasion for jealousy, battles, or strife. Rather we shall enjoy great tranquility and great harmony. When we have these, the other virtues will undoubtedly follow" ("How to Choose a Wife, p. 113-14).Chrysostom relates these commandments to the wedding celebration. Marriage is a great mystery that stands as an image of Christ and the Church; it must thus be celebrated in a sober manner. Chrysostom asks "Why does anyone need to dance? Pagan mysteries are the only ones that involve dancing. We celebrate our mysteries quietly and decently, with reverence and modesty. How is marriage a mystery? The two have become one. This is not an empty symbol. They have not become the image of anything on earth, but of God Himself. How can you celebrate it with a noisy uproar, which dishonors and bewilders the soul?" (Homily 12, p. 75).The solemnity of the wedding ceremony and what happens therein calls for reverence and soberness. "Shall I also tell you how marriage is a mystery of the Church? The Church was made from the side of Christ, and He united Himself to her in a spiritual intercourse. St Paul says, `I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure virgin to her one husband,' [2 Cor 11:2] and `we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.' [Eph 5:30] Think about all this and stop treating such a great mystery so shamefully. Marriage is an image of the presence of Christ, and will you get drunk at a wedding?" (Homily 12, p. 77). For Paul says, "`Let there be no filthiness, nor silly talk, nor levity; let no evil talk come out of your mouths.' [Eph 5:4, 4:29] What, I ask you, goes on at weddings? All of this, and more, for evil talk has become an art, and those who excel in it are applauded!" (Homily 12, p. 77).In describing the ceremony of Rebecca and Isaac, who he considers to in many ways symbolize the exemplary couple of Christian modesty and chastity, Chrysostom writes: "Now let us see, once [Isaac] had obtained the bride, how he arranged the wedding celebration. Did he bring along a load of cymbals, pipes, drums, flutes, singers, dancers, and all that kind of display? None of these, but taking Rebecca alone he departed. To escort and accompany her he had with him the same angel whom his master had besought God to send along with him when he set out from his house. For the rest, the bride was wedded without hearing flutes, lyres, or any other instruments, but bearing innumerable blessings from God on her head, a crown more glorious than any diadem. She was wedded wearing no golden robe but chastity, piety, generosity, and every other virtue" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 112).7. Child Rearing and Instruction in the FaithChrysostom writes, "Do you want your child to be obedient? Then from the beginning bring him up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Don't think that it isn't necessary for a child to listen to the Scriptures; the first thing he will hear from them will be, `Honor your father and mother,' and immediately you will begin to reap your reward" (Homily 21, p. 67).He emphasizes the need for parents to raise their children in the ways of the Lord, teaching them the Scriptures. "Don't say, `Bible-reading is for monks; am I turning my child into a monk?' No! It isn't necessary for him to be a monk. Make him into a Christian! Why are you afraid of something so good? It is necessary for everyone to know Scriptural teachings, and this is especially true for children. Even at their age they are exposed to all sorts of folly and bad examples from popular entertainments. Our children need remedies for all these things! They are so concerned with our children's schooling; if only we were equally zealous in bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord!" (Homily 21, p. 67). "Don't think that only monks need to learn the Bible; children about to go out into the world stand in greater need of Scriptural knowledge. A man who never travels by sea doesn't need to know how to equip a ship, or where to find a pilot or a crew, but a sailor has to know all these things. The same applies to the monk and the man of this world. The monk lives an untroubled life in a calm harbor, removed from every storm, while the worldly man is always sailing the ocean, battling innumerable tempests" (Homily 20, p. 69). "Why do you refuse to imitate the holy men and women of old? Tell me! Especially you mothers: think of Hannah's example; look at what she did. She brought Samuel, her only son, to the temple, when he was only an infant! Who among you would not rather have a son like Samuel than one who became king of the whole world ten thousand times over?" (Homily 21, p. 68).Parents ought to instill in their children the fear of Go and concern not for this life, but for the life to come. "This is how to discipline and teach your child; this is the greatest riches. Don't worry about giving him an influential reputation for worldly wisdom, but ponder deeply how you can teach him to think lightly of this life's passing glories; thus he will become truly renowned and glorious. Whether you are poor or rich, you can do this; these lessons are not learned from a skillful professor, but from divine revelation. Don't ask how he can enjoy a long life here, but how he can enjoy an infinite and eternal life in the age to come" (Homily 21, p. 69).B. CritiqueI have two criticisms of Chrysostom's otherwise excellent sermons. The first is that the language of affection he employs can be so extreme at times that it can be interpreted as idolizing one's spouse. The second is that his criticism of wealth is at times too harsh and unreasonable.1. Idolizing One's Spouse?Some of Chrysostom's language can be taken to raise one's wife on such a high platform that she takes precedence over even Christ. He writes, for example, that the husband should tell his wife that "I value your love above all things, and nothing would be so bitter or painful to me as our being at odds with each other. Even if I lose everything, any affliction is tolerable if you will be true to me" (Homily 20, p. 61). Rather, in my view, the husband must value God's love above all things, including his wife. Nothing should be as painful as being at odds with God, not with one's wife, and any affliction should be tolerable if God remained faithful to him. The spouse must come second to God.2. Is Wealth Always Evil?In some of Chrysostom's sermons, the criticism of wealth comes off with unreasonable harshness. For instance, Chrysostom seems to equate marriage to a wealthy wife as always leading to strife, rather than as raising the potential for strife. He writes that a man who marries a woman of higher status or greater wealth "takes a boss rather than a wife ... The man, however, who takes a wife of equal position or poorer than himself takes a helper and ally, and brings every blessing into his house. Her own poverty forces her to care for her husband with great concern, to yield to him and obey him in everything. It removes every occasion for strife, battle, presumption, and pride. It binds the couple in peace, harmony, love, and concord. Let us not, therefore, seek to have money, but to have peace, in order to enjoy happiness" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 97-8). Sure marriage to a woman of equal or poorer position will not remove "every" occasion for strife, and surely marriage to a wealthy woman will not always equate marriage to a boss. It seems unreasonable that Chrysostom does not allow for the possibility of love to transcend differences in wealth or status in allowing for a relationship between a man and a wife to flourish. In Chrysostom's defense, however, in these passages he may have been referring to those who seek wealthy wives because of the love of money, which inevitably will lead to problems in marriage, rather than to those who fall in love with a woman who happens to be wealthy.C. ConclusionChrysostom's sermons serve as outstanding counsels to young couples considering marriage and to married couples. Despite some of the extreme points that Chrysostom takes, his treatment of marriage is overall balanced and biblical. Chrysostom concludes with these words: "When the mother is so decorous and chaste and endowed with every virtue, she will undoubtedly be able to attract her husband and subject him to love for her. When she has caught him, she will keep him willingly helping her in the care of the children, and so she will bring God's providence to join in this same care. When He takes a part in this good management of the household, when He trains the souls of the children, nothing at all will be unpleasant. The affairs of the household will go well when its rulers are so well disposed. In this way each man together with his household (I mean his wife, children, and servants) will be able to finish the course of this life without fear and to enter the kingdom of heaven: which may we all attain, by the grace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father be glory and might, together with the holy and life-giving Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages" ("How to Choose a Wife," p. 114).
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful. The Advice Is Great By Mel The Advice given it this short work is great. Please, though, don't think that this is an entire work that Saint John wrote on marriage and family life, rather, it is just a compilation of modern times of a few seperate sermons which Saint John gave on days in which the Scriptural readings were dealing with marriage. Many would consider it chauvanistic, but others, like myself, know it's not so much chauvanistic as realistic. A must read and a must take-to-heart.
See all 21 customer reviews...
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom PDF
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom iBooks
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom ePub
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom rtf
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom AZW
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom Kindle
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
On Marriage and Family Life, by Saint John Chrysostom
